I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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