After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
