Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
