I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
