So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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