I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
