just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
