you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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