You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
