we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How does one acquire holy water?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
