What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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