Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
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We left an ass print on the piano.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize