I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
