so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
