And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
