I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
