How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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