508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize