So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
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He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar