Say something about gay babies.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??