Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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