Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
