I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
