i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
