I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
