With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
