..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
