it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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