Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
