the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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