My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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