Where did you get a picture of my penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
