I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
