I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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