i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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