the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
