Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize