i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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