how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize