my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Randomize
