I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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