Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i used baking grease as lip gloss
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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