remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Oh god it's open bar.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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