i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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