my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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