drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
