There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Sorry about my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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