My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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