just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
