Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
