He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
