I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
