You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I lost the right to judge tonight
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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