I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
