no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
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Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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