I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
