the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His hands were made for my vagina.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
