Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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