It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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